Why choose a couples specialist over an individual therapist?

A therapist who specializes in couples has focused training on how couples connect, communicate, and clash. Unlike a general therapist who sometimes works with couples, a specialist is better equipped to spot hidden relationship patterns, use proven techniques to improve your bond, and help you understand how your past experiences affect your relationship today.

What percentage of couples stay together after couples therapy?

The American Association of Marriage and Family Therapists states 90% of couples who complete therapy with a highly trained couples therapist report an increase in their emotional well-being. Approximately two-thirds of participants also report improvements in their general physical well-being. Couples therapy has also shown to be as effective as individual therapy in addressing symptoms of depression in some cases.

How long will we have to attend couples therapy sessions?

At Kodo, couples work in four-month cycles. This structure provides enough time to build momentum, practice new tools, and see measurable change in your relationship. Most couples begin to notice meaningful shifts within the first few sessions, but lasting transformation typically unfolds over the course of a full cycle. At the end of each four-month period, we review your progress together and decide whether to transition out of therapy, extend for another cycle, or shift focus based on your evolving goals.

What if my partner doesn't want to come to couples therapy?

One partner being hesitant is common. Kodo offers Couples Therapy for One for individuals who want to work on their relationship even when their partner is not ready. Discernment Counseling is also available for couples where one partner is unsure about staying.

Do you offer therapy for non-traditional relationships?

Yes. Kodo welcomes couples of all backgrounds, identities, and relationship structures. Who you love is never a question; how you love is what we focus on together.

Do you take insurance for couples therapy?

Kodo does not currently accept insurance due to the limitations it places on the therapy process. Insurance companies often impose restrictions on the types of treatment and the number of sessions covered, which can limit the flexibility needed for effective therapy. Detailed superbills are provided that you can submit to your insurance company for out-of-network reimbursement.

Do you offer remote couples therapy sessions?

Yes. Kodo offers secure and confidential remote therapy sessions for couples and individuals throughout California.

What is the cost of couples counseling in Marin County?

Sessions at Kodo are $225 to $250 for 50 minutes or $330 for 80 minutes depending on clinician. Monthly superbills are available for Marin County clients who wish to use PPO out-of-network benefits.

Do you offer in-person couples intensives in Marin County?

Yes. We offer in-person couples intensives for partners in Mill Valley, San Rafael, and throughout Marin County who want to work more deeply and efficiently than traditional weekly therapy allows.

What is the difference between marriage counseling and Relational Life Therapy (RLT)?

Relational Life Therapy (RLT) is a therapeutic approach that focuses on identifying and changing relational patterns such as power struggles, emotional withdrawal, and reactivity in order to improve connection and accountability.

How long does couples therapy take?

At Kodo, couples work in four-month cycles. Most couples notice meaningful shifts within the first few sessions. At the end of each cycle we review progress together and decide whether to continue, shift focus, or transition out.

What makes Kodo different from other couples therapists in Marin?

Kodo is a couples-only practice. Every clinician specializes exclusively in relationship work, using Relational Life Therapy, EMDR, and Emotionally Focused Therapy. We do not do general therapy with occasional couples sessions — relationships are all we do.

What is EMDR and How Does It Work? A Complete Guide to Trauma Healing in Marin County

Jun 14

Written By Sheena Simpson

If you struggle with anxiety, emotional overwhelm, relationship triggers, or feel like past experiences still affect how you react today, you are not alone.

Many people in Marin County therapy because they feel:

emotionally reactive in relationships
stuck in anxiety or overthinking
disconnected or numb
easily triggered during conflict
unable to move on from past experiences

EMDR therapy (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) is an evidence-based trauma treatment designed to help the brain process unresolved emotional memories so they no longer feel overwhelming in the present.

At Kodo Couples Therapy in Novato, we use EMDR to help individuals and couples heal trauma, regulate emotions, and improve relationship connection.

What is EMDR?

EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) is a structured psychotherapy approach that helps people process traumatic or distressing memories.

Instead of only talking about the past, EMDR helps the brain:

reprocess emotional memories
reduce emotional intensity
update negative beliefs about self and relationships

It is widely used for trauma, PTSD, anxiety, and relationship-related emotional wounds.

Many people searching for EMDR therapy in Marin County are dealing with anxiety, emotional overwhelm, and unresolved trauma that continues to affect daily life and relationships.

EMDR helps individuals process these past experiences so they no longer trigger the same intense emotional reactions in the present.
Over time, it reduces emotional distress and supports a more stable and grounded response to current situations.

Why Do Emotional Triggers Stay So Strong?

Many emotional reactions are not caused by the present moment alone.

They are linked to:

childhood experiences
past relationship trauma
attachment wounds
unresolved emotional memories

When these experiences are not fully processed, the nervous system reacts as if the past is still happening.

This is why people may feel:

overwhelmed during conflict
unsafe in relationships
anxious without clear reason
emotionally shut down

How Trauma Affects the Brain and Nervous System

Unprocessed trauma can keep the nervous system stuck in survival responses:

Fight → anger, conflict, reactivity
Flight → anxiety, overthinking
Freeze → numbness, shutdown

This is called nervous system dysregulation.

EMDR therapy is often sought for anxiety and trauma when traditional talk therapy is not enough.
It helps regulate overactive nervous system responses linked to past experiences.
EMDR supports the brain in distinguishing between past danger and present safety.
Over time, it reduces emotional triggers that impact relationships and daily life.
It helps lower anxiety and emotional reactivity in stressful situations.
EMDR improves emotional regulation, creating a more stable and grounded response.

How EMDR Therapy Works (Step-by-Step)

EMDR helps the brain reprocess stuck emotional memories using bilateral stimulation (eye movements, tapping, or sound).

Step 1: Identify the memory or trigger

A specific emotional experience is selected.

Step 2: Notice emotions and beliefs

Examples:

“I am not safe”
“I am not enough”
“I will be abandoned”

Step 3: Bilateral stimulation begins

The brain processes memory while staying grounded in the present.

Step 4: Emotional intensity reduces

The memory becomes less overwhelming over time.

Step 5: New belief forms

Examples: “I am safe now” “I am in control”. “I can handle this”

What Conditions Does EMDR Help Treat?

EMDR is commonly used for:

Childhood Trauma

emotional neglect, abandonment, criticism, unstable caregiving

Relationship Trauma

betrayal, infidelity, emotional abuse, repeated conflict patterns

PTSD & Traumatic Events

accidents, grief and loss, medical trauma, violence

Anxiety & Emotional Triggers

panic responses, chronic worry, emotional overwhelm

EMDR for Relationship and Attachment Wounds

Many emotional struggles in relationships are connected to attachment patterns formed early in life.

These may show up as:

fear of rejection, difficulty trusting partners, emotional withdrawal, conflict escalation, fear of vulnerability

EMDR helps reduce the emotional charge behind these patterns so couples can reconnect with more safety and understanding.

What Happens During an EMDR Session?

A typical EMDR session may include:

discussion of emotional triggers; identifying target memories; guided bilateral stimulation; tracking emotional responses
processing until distress reduces

Unlike traditional therapy, EMDR does not require you to fully relive or repeatedly explain traumatic events in detail.

Benefits of EMDR

Clients often report:

Emotional Benefits

reduced anxiety, less emotional reactivity, improved emotional stability

Relationship Benefits

better communication, reduced conflict intensity, stronger emotional connection

Personal Growth

increased confidence, improved self-worth, sense of emotional freedom

Why EMDR is Effective for Trauma Recovery

Research shows EMDR helps the brain reprocess traumatic memories so they lose their emotional intensity.

Instead of avoiding or suppressing painful experiences, EMDR allows the brain to:

properly store memories, reduce emotional overload, separate past from present

This leads to long-term emotional relief for many individuals.

EMDR is commonly used for relationship trauma and attachment wounds.
It helps when emotional patterns in relationships feel repetitive or overwhelming.
Many people experience improved communication after EMDR therapy.
It can reduce emotional reactivity during conflict and stressful interactions.
Clients often report greater emotional stability after processing trauma.

EMDR Therapy in Novato, Marin County

At Kodo Couples Therapy, we provide EMDR therapy for individuals and couples across:

Novato
San Rafael
Mill Valley
Tiburon
San Francisco
Greater Bay Area

7250 Redwood Blvd Suite 300, Novato, CA 94945

Who is EMDR Best For?

EMDR may be helpful if you:

feel stuck in emotional patterns
experience anxiety or panic
struggle with relationship triggers
have unresolved trauma
feel emotionally overwhelmed or shut down

Conclusion

EMDR therapy is a powerful approach for addressing trauma, anxiety, and relationship-related emotional wounds. By helping the brain process and reframe past experiences, it reduces emotional reactivity and supports healthier responses in daily life. Over time, clients often experience greater emotional stability, improved communication, and a stronger sense of safety in both themselves and their relationships.

Frequently Asked Questions

EMDR is used to treat trauma, PTSD, anxiety, and emotional distress caused by past experiences.
It uses bilateral stimulation to help the brain reprocess traumatic memories and reduce emotional intensity.
Yes, especially when anxiety is connected to unresolved trauma or emotional triggers.
Yes, EMDR is commonly used for betrayal trauma, trust issues, and attachment wounds.
Many clients notice improvement within 6–12 sessions depending on trauma severity.
No, EMDR does not require detailed verbal recounting of traumatic events.
Yes. EMDR is an evidence-based treatment widely used for PTSD and trauma-related symptoms.
The length of EMDR therapy varies depending on the individual, but many people experience noticeable improvements within several sessions.

Couples Therapy in Marin County

Ready to reconnect?

Kodo helps couples slow down painful patterns, communicate with more care, and find their way back to connection.

Schedule a Consultation

Sheena Simpson