Why choose a couples specialist over an individual therapist?

A therapist who specializes in couples has focused training on how couples connect, communicate, and clash. Unlike a general therapist who sometimes works with couples, a specialist is better equipped to spot hidden relationship patterns, use proven techniques to improve your bond, and help you understand how your past experiences affect your relationship today.

What percentage of couples stay together after couples therapy?

The American Association of Marriage and Family Therapists states 90% of couples who complete therapy with a highly trained couples therapist report an increase in their emotional well-being. Approximately two-thirds of participants also report improvements in their general physical well-being. Couples therapy has also shown to be as effective as individual therapy in addressing symptoms of depression in some cases.

How long will we have to attend couples therapy sessions?

At Kodo, couples work in four-month cycles. This structure provides enough time to build momentum, practice new tools, and see measurable change in your relationship. Most couples begin to notice meaningful shifts within the first few sessions, but lasting transformation typically unfolds over the course of a full cycle. At the end of each four-month period, we review your progress together and decide whether to transition out of therapy, extend for another cycle, or shift focus based on your evolving goals.

What if my partner doesn't want to come to couples therapy?

It's not uncommon for one partner to feel hesitant about attending couples therapy. Try to have an open conversation about their concerns, and emphasize that therapy isn't about assigning blame but about improving communication, connection, and understanding. If your partner still chooses not to attend, Kodo offers Couples Therapy for One, a service designed specifically for individuals who want to address relationship challenges on their own.

Do you offer therapy for non-traditional relationships?

Yes. Kodo welcomes couples of all backgrounds, identities, and relationship structures. Who you love is never a question; how you love is what we focus on together.

Do you take insurance for couples therapy?

Kodo does not currently accept insurance due to the limitations it places on the therapy process. Insurance companies often impose restrictions on the types of treatment and the number of sessions covered, which can limit the flexibility needed for effective therapy. Detailed super bills are provided that you can submit to your insurance company for out-of-network reimbursement.

Do you offer remote couples therapy sessions?

Yes. Kodo offers secure and confidential remote therapy sessions for couples and individuals throughout California.

What is the cost of couples therapy in Marin County?

At Kodo Couples Therapy, sessions are $225 for 50 minutes or $330 for 80 minutes. Monthly superbills are available for Marin County clients who wish to use PPO out-of-network benefits.

Do you offer in-person couples intensives in Marin County?

Yes. We offer in-person couples intensives for partners in Mill Valley, San Rafael, and throughout Marin County who want to work more deeply and efficiently than traditional weekly therapy allows.

What is the difference between marriage counseling and Relational Life Therapy (RLT)?

Relational Life Therapy (RLT) is a therapeutic approach that focuses on identifying and changing relational patterns such as power struggles, emotional withdrawal, and reactivity in order to improve connection and accountability.

Can Couples Therapy Help After Infidelity?

May 2

Written By Sheena Simpson

The question most couples ask after an affair is not really about therapy. It is about whether the relationship can survive at all. Therapy feels like a means to an answer nobody is sure they want yet. One partner is shattered while the other is flooded with guilt, shame, or sometimes a complicated mix of relief. The ground between them has shifted and neither person quite knows where to stand.

So yes, couples therapy can help after infidelity. But the honest answer is more specific than that, because the kind of therapy matters enormously, and most general couples work is not designed for what betrayal actually does to a nervous system.

What Infidelity Actually Does to a Relationship

An affair is not just a breach of trust. For the betrayed partner, it is often a traumatic event in the clinical sense of the word. The brain encodes it the way it encodes any shock: intrusive thoughts, hypervigilance, a nervous system that keeps scanning for danger even when the immediate threat is gone.

This is why couples who try to work through infidelity using standard communication techniques often stall, you cannot reason your way through a trauma response. Worksheets about active listening do not reach the part of the brain that keeps replaying the moment of discovery at two in the morning.

Effective infidelity recovery requires a clinician who understands both the relational rupture and the individual trauma response, and who can hold both at the same time.

What Good Therapy After Infidelity Actually Looks Like

The most effective approaches for infidelity recovery work on two parallel tracks. The first is the betrayed partner's trauma response, which needs direct, targeted attention before genuine couples work can happen. The second is the relational dynamic that existed before the affair, because affairs rarely happen in a vacuum, and both partners eventually need to understand what was happening in the relationship and why.

At Kodo Couples Therapy, we use EMDR to address the trauma directly. EMDR, or Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing, was originally developed for post-traumatic stress and has a strong research base for treating the kind of shock that discovery of an affair produces. Rather than asking the betrayed partner to simply manage their distress, EMDR works to actually process and metabolize the traumatic memory so it stops running in the background of every conversation.

Alongside that, we draw on Emotionally Focused Therapy and Relational Life Therapy to address the attachment rupture between partners and the relational patterns that allowed disconnection to grow in the first place. These are not separate modules. In good infidelity work, they inform each other throughout the process.

Can a Relationship Actually Recover From an Affair?

Research suggests that many couples not only survive infidelity but report stronger relationships afterward than they had before. That is not a reassuring platitude and reflects something real about what the recovery process asks of both partners: a level of honesty, vulnerability, and genuine contact that the relationship may never have had.

That said, recovery is not guaranteed and it is not right for every couple. Some relationships end after an affair, and that outcome can also be healthy. What matters is that both partners have access to a real process, not just white-knuckling through it or pretending it did not happen.

If you are not yet sure whether you want to save the relationship, our discernment work is designed for exactly that uncertainty. It is not about persuading you in either direction, it is about helping you get clear.

Why an Intensive Format Often Makes Sense After Betrayal

Infidelity recovery in weekly therapy is possible, but it moves slowly by necessity. A fifty-minute session often gets used just stabilizing the immediate distress before any deeper work can happen. For couples who are in acute pain and need to move, our two-day couples intensive was built for this kind of work.

Over two full days we are able to move through the trauma response, the relational rupture, and the early stages of rebuilding in a way that weekly sessions rarely reach in the first three to four months. The investment is $3,980 and includes twelve hours of therapy, a written relationship roadmap, and two integration sessions at three and eight weeks.

Couples come to us from across the Bay Area and nationally for this work. Some travel specifically to Marin County to have the distance from their ordinary environment that this kind of process deserves.

Ready to Talk?

If you are navigating the aftermath of infidelity and trying to figure out what comes next, we offer a free twenty-minute consultation. It is a real conversation, not a sales call, about what your situation actually calls for and whether Kodo is the right fit. Schedule a Consultation

Sheena Simpson, LMFT #156841, is the founder and clinical director of Kodo Couples Therapy in Novato, CA. The Kodo team specializes in couples therapy using Relational Life Therapy, EMDR, and Emotionally Focused Therapy. Serving the San Francisco Bay Area and couples nationally.

Sheena Simpson