Why choose a couples specialist over an individual therapist?

A therapist who specializes in couples has focused training on how couples connect, communicate, and clash. Unlike a general therapist who sometimes works with couples, a specialist is better equipped to spot hidden relationship patterns, use proven techniques to improve your bond, and help you understand how your past experiences affect your relationship today.

What percentage of couples stay together after couples therapy?

The American Association of Marriage and Family Therapists states 90% of couples who complete therapy with a highly trained couples therapist report an increase in their emotional well-being. Approximately two-thirds of participants also report improvements in their general physical well-being. Couples therapy has also shown to be as effective as individual therapy in addressing symptoms of depression in some cases.

How long will we have to attend couples therapy sessions?

At Kodo, couples work in four-month cycles. This structure provides enough time to build momentum, practice new tools, and see measurable change in your relationship. Most couples begin to notice meaningful shifts within the first few sessions, but lasting transformation typically unfolds over the course of a full cycle. At the end of each four-month period, we review your progress together and decide whether to transition out of therapy, extend for another cycle, or shift focus based on your evolving goals.

What if my partner doesn't want to come to couples therapy?

One partner being hesitant is common. Kodo offers Couples Therapy for One for individuals who want to work on their relationship even when their partner is not ready. Discernment Counseling is also available for couples where one partner is unsure about staying.

Do you offer therapy for non-traditional relationships?

Yes. Kodo welcomes couples of all backgrounds, identities, and relationship structures. Who you love is never a question; how you love is what we focus on together.

Do you take insurance for couples therapy?

Kodo does not currently accept insurance due to the limitations it places on the therapy process. Insurance companies often impose restrictions on the types of treatment and the number of sessions covered, which can limit the flexibility needed for effective therapy. Detailed superbills are provided that you can submit to your insurance company for out-of-network reimbursement.

Do you offer remote couples therapy sessions?

Yes. Kodo offers secure and confidential remote therapy sessions for couples and individuals throughout California.

What is the cost of couples counseling in Marin County?

Sessions at Kodo are $225 to $250 for 50 minutes or $330 for 80 minutes depending on clinician. Monthly superbills are available for Marin County clients who wish to use PPO out-of-network benefits.

Do you offer in-person couples intensives in Marin County?

Yes. We offer in-person couples intensives for partners in Mill Valley, San Rafael, and throughout Marin County who want to work more deeply and efficiently than traditional weekly therapy allows.

What is the difference between marriage counseling and Relational Life Therapy (RLT)?

Relational Life Therapy (RLT) is a therapeutic approach that focuses on identifying and changing relational patterns such as power struggles, emotional withdrawal, and reactivity in order to improve connection and accountability.

How long does couples therapy take?

At Kodo, couples work in four-month cycles. Most couples notice meaningful shifts within the first few sessions. At the end of each cycle we review progress together and decide whether to continue, shift focus, or transition out.

What makes Kodo different from other couples therapists in Marin?

Kodo is a couples-only practice. Every clinician specializes exclusively in relationship work, using Relational Life Therapy, EMDR, and Emotionally Focused Therapy. We do not do general therapy with occasional couples sessions — relationships are all we do.

7 Signs It’s Time for Couples Therapy

Apr 11

Written By Sheena Simpson

Even in a place as beautiful as Marin County, relationships can become painful and lonely. Many of the couples who come to us are competent, thoughtful people who manage demanding careers, parenting, and full lives but cannot seem to find their way out of the same argument at home.

At Kodo Couples Therapy, relationships are the focus of our practice. We help partners slow down destructive patterns, take meaningful accountability for their part and rebuild the kind of connection that needs more than communication tips alone.

How Do You Know When It’s Time for Couples Therapy?

It may be time for couples therapy when the same problems continue despite repeated attempts to resolve them, or when conflict, distance, or damaged trust begins affecting the quality of your relationship.

You keep having different versions of the same argument.
Conversations quickly become defensive or critical.
You feel more like roommates or co-parents than romantic partners.
Affection, sex, or emotional intimacy has become strained.
Trust has been damaged and you do not know how to rebuild it.
You have talked extensively about the problem, but nothing meaningfully changes.
You aren’t in crisis but want to protect and strengthen the relationship you have.

Common Challenges Faced by Couples

Careers and Unequal Mental Loads

Long workdays and the Bay Area’s achievement-oriented culture can leave little energy for the relationship. Conflict may center on chores or schedules, while the deeper injury is feeling alone or unappreciated.

Parenting Differences

Disagreements about discipline, schooling, or screen time may activate fears of being judged, undermined, or left to parent alone.

Financial Tension

Marin’s high cost of living can intensify differences around spending, saving, and security. Money conflicts often reveal deeper issues involving values, power, and trust.

Cultural and Family Differences

Partners may bring different ideas about closeness, obligation, conflict, gender, or extended family. Culturally responsive therapy explores these differences without treating one person’s way as inherently better.

The Cost of Waiting

When couples postpone therapy, partners often become more guarded, resentment replaces curiosity, and conflict becomes increasingly predictable.

These patterns are not necessarily permanent. Early marriage counseling can interrupt them before emotional distance begins to feel normal.

Couples Therapy Is About More Than Communication

Most distressed couples have the tools for meaningful connection and communication, but struggle to remain open when they feel threatened.

Therapy can help you:

Recognize the cycle taking over your conversations.
Understand what each partner is protecting.
Express hurt without attacking.
Listen without immediately defending.
Take responsibility without collapsing into shame.
Make repairs that create lasting change.

At Kodo, we draw from Relational Life Therapy, Emotionally Focused Therapy, and other evidence-based approaches. Our style is compassionate, active, and direct. We help partners understand each other while naming behaviors that harm the relationship.

Good couples therapy helps each partner understand their contribution to the dynamic while holding each person appropriately accountable for their behavior.

When Trying Harder Is Not Working

Many couples have tried date nights, relationship books, or communication exercises. These may help briefly but fall apart when either partner becomes activated.

Professional support may help when:

Repair attempts do not create lasting change.
One or both partners regularly shut down, criticize, or become defensive.
Resentment continues to build.
You understand the problem but cannot change it.
You cannot identify what drives the recurring conflict.

Seeking therapy does not mean the relationship has failed. It may mean the relationship matters too much to keep repeating the same pattern.

Rebuilding Trust and Connection

Trust is rebuilt through consistent changes in behavior that, over time, allow a partner to believe the relationship is becoming safer. Therapy can help partners name the injury, take responsibility, establish boundaries, and create consistent experiences of care. In a strong relationship, both partners trust that conflict will not erase their dignity or importance to one another.

Finding Couples Therapy in Marin County

Because couples therapy differs from individual therapy, look for a therapist with specialized relationship training.

Kodo Couples Therapy is based in Novato and serves couples throughout Marin and the Bay Area. We work with conflict, emotional distance, parenting tension, sexual disconnection, betrayal, and damaged trust. We also offer therapy for couples who may benefit from longer, concentrated sessions.

Choose a couples therapist with specialized training, relevant experience, and a clear approach to accountability. A therapist familiar with Marin and the Bay Area may also understand local pressures such as demanding careers, high living costs, and competitive schools. If you are considering marriage counseling in Novato, use the consultation to assess whether the therapist offers the right balance of warmth, directness, and structure.

Taking the Next Step

Communication breakdowns, emotional distance, trust injuries, and parenting conflicts do not have to define your marriage. Change happens when partners practice meeting each other differently, especially when doing so is hardest.

At Kodo Couples Therapy, we help couples improve communication, rebuild trust, and recover emotional connection.

We serve couples in Novato, San Rafael, Mill Valley, Tiburon, San Francisco, San Jose, and throughout the Greater Bay Area.

You can begin couples therapy with uncertainty. A willingness to look honestly at your relationship is enough to start exploring whether meaningful change is possible.

About the Author

Sheena Simpson, LMFT, is the founder of Kodo Couples Therapy and specializes in helping couples navigate conflict, emotional distance, betrayal, and damaged trust. Her approach draws from advanced training in Relational Life Therapy, Emotionally Focused Therapy, the Gottman Method, and trauma-informed therapy. She combines warmth and cultural sensitivity with a direct focus on accountability and lasting change.

If you and your partner experience recurring arguments, communication difficulties, emotional distance, trust issues, or unresolved resentment, couples therapy can help you identify the underlying patterns and improve your relationship.
Yes. Many therapists recommend seeking support early, before problems become deeply rooted. Early intervention often makes it easier to rebuild trust, improve communication, and prevent conflicts from escalating.
Research shows that evidence-based couples therapy can improve relationship satisfaction, communication, conflict resolution, and emotional connection when both partners are committed to the process.
Yes. Whether trust has been affected by infidelity, dishonesty, or repeated disappointments, therapy provides a structured environment where couples can process emotions, rebuild trust, and develop healthier relationship patterns.
The number of sessions varies depending on your goals and the challenges you're facing. Some couples benefit from weekly sessions, while others choose intensive therapy to make meaningful progress over a shorter period.