Why choose a couples specialist over an individual therapist?

A therapist who specializes in couples has focused training on how couples connect, communicate, and clash. Unlike a general therapist who sometimes works with couples, a specialist is better equipped to spot hidden relationship patterns, use proven techniques to improve your bond, and help you understand how your past experiences affect your relationship today.

What percentage of couples stay together after couples therapy?

The American Association of Marriage and Family Therapists states 90% of couples who complete therapy with a highly trained couples therapist report an increase in their emotional well-being. Approximately two-thirds of participants also report improvements in their general physical well-being. Couples therapy has also shown to be as effective as individual therapy in addressing symptoms of depression in some cases.

How long will we have to attend couples therapy sessions?

At Kodo, couples work in four-month cycles. This structure provides enough time to build momentum, practice new tools, and see measurable change in your relationship. Most couples begin to notice meaningful shifts within the first few sessions, but lasting transformation typically unfolds over the course of a full cycle. At the end of each four-month period, we review your progress together and decide whether to transition out of therapy, extend for another cycle, or shift focus based on your evolving goals.

What if my partner doesn't want to come to couples therapy?

It's not uncommon for one partner to feel hesitant about attending couples therapy. Try to have an open conversation about their concerns, and emphasize that therapy isn't about assigning blame but about improving communication, connection, and understanding. If your partner still chooses not to attend, Kodo offers Couples Therapy for One, a service designed specifically for individuals who want to address relationship challenges on their own.

Do you offer therapy for non-traditional relationships?

Yes. Kodo welcomes couples of all backgrounds, identities, and relationship structures. Who you love is never a question; how you love is what we focus on together.

Do you take insurance for couples therapy?

Kodo does not currently accept insurance due to the limitations it places on the therapy process. Insurance companies often impose restrictions on the types of treatment and the number of sessions covered, which can limit the flexibility needed for effective therapy. Detailed super bills are provided that you can submit to your insurance company for out-of-network reimbursement.

Do you offer remote couples therapy sessions?

Yes. Kodo offers secure and confidential remote therapy sessions for couples and individuals throughout California.

What is the cost of couples therapy in Marin County?

At Kodo Couples Therapy, sessions are $225 for 50 minutes or $330 for 80 minutes. Monthly superbills are available for Marin County clients who wish to use PPO out-of-network benefits.

Do you offer in-person couples intensives in Marin County?

Yes. We offer in-person couples intensives for partners in Mill Valley, San Rafael, and throughout Marin County who want to work more deeply and efficiently than traditional weekly therapy allows.

What is the difference between marriage counseling and Relational Life Therapy (RLT)?

Relational Life Therapy (RLT) is a therapeutic approach that focuses on identifying and changing relational patterns such as power struggles, emotional withdrawal, and reactivity in order to improve connection and accountability.

Healing from Betrayal: What Marin County Couples Actually Need

Oct 30

Written By Sheena Simpson

Most articles about betrayal hand you a roadmap: apologize, rebuild trust, forgive. What they miss is the partner who is still flooded at 2am six months later while the other has mentally filed it under "resolved."

Betrayal is a relational trauma and it lives in both partners, not only the one who was hurt. At Kodo, we have worked with couples navigating infidelity, emotional affairs, and hidden addiction. Couples who genuinely heal get there by seeing each other through it.

Betrayal Activates Old Wounds

For most people, betrayal does not land on a clean surface. It echoes earlier experiences: a parent who was unpredictable, a relationship where love felt conditional. Research in the Journal of Traumatic Stress confirms that relational betrayal can produce symptoms consistent with PTSD: intrusive thoughts, hypervigilance, and emotional numbing.

This is why conversation-based repair alone often stalls. The nervous system has to be part of the treatment. At Kodo Couples Therapy, we often integrate EMDR alongside couples work when attachment wounds are activated by the betrayal, processing the older layer frequently frees couples to address the present rupture with far less reactive flooding.

The Betraying Partner Is Not Off the Hook and Not the Villain

The person who caused harm typically either over-apologizes and collapses, or minimizes and defends, but neither is full presence. Relational Life Therapy, developed by Terry Real, names what is actually needed: accountability without self-flagellation. The partner who caused harm must hold the full impact without disappearing into shame. Shame produces hiding. Grounded accountability stays in the room.

Trust Rebuilds Through Behavior First

Repair is behavioral before it is emotional. The Gottman Institute frames trust as something that accrues in small moments and that is exactly what early repair work asks of couples:

Transparency as a temporary scaffold. Open calendars, honest daily communication as a bridge while trust re-forms.
Repair attempts that land. Noticing when a bid for repair is being made, and responding rather than deflecting.
Daily rituals of connection. Two minutes of honest check-in and real eye contact shifts the relational field over time.

Not every couple who comes to me after betrayal should stay together. Holding couples in a repair frame when one or both partners are privately questioning whether they want to be there is its own form of clinical harm.

Our Discernment Counseling process gives both partners a structured space to get clear about whether this specific relationship has the conditions for genuine repair. Some couples leave with renewed commitment while others leave with clarity about a respectful separation. Both are more useful than limbo.

When an Intensive Makes Sense

For couples where weekly sessions feel too slow or too fragmented, a private couples intensive provides containment that weekly therapy cannot. Over two focused days, we move through the initial crisis, begin trauma processing, and establish a repair framework, which could take up to 6 months in weekly therapy.

Working with a Betrayal Specialist in Marin County

At Kodo, we work exclusively with couples. You can meet our team and see whether our approach fits. If you are in Novato, San Rafael, or anywhere in Marin County, schedule a consultation call to take the first step.

Sheena Simpson, LMFT #156841 is the founder and clinical director of Kodo Couples Therapy in Novato, CA. She integrates RLT, EMDR, and EFT in her work with couples navigating infidelity, betrayal trauma, and relational rupture.

Sheena Simpson